Fresh Hope – 24th May 2016

Nobody likes confrontation, but we all have to confront from time to time.

If confrontation is handled properly, it can actually strengthen a relationship – if not, it can end it.

Because everyone of us at some point has to confront and because most of us are not very good at it, I thought that today would be a good day to give some guidelines as to how to handle yourself correctly when walking into a confrontational situation.

Firstly, bear in mind the advice of the Bible…

‘…take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…’ (James 1 v 19)

Once you’ve settled that advice in your heart, then follow the seven guidelines below:

Get the facts. Don’t rely on hearsay or general impressions or you will invite emotion-laden counter attacks.

Be precise about the offence. Don’t skirt around the real issues.

Never reprimand while you are angry. Delay any meeting until you’ve cooled off.

Get the other person’s side of the story. Give them a chance to explain and don’t interrupt. There may be circumstances you know nothing about and you may even be part of them.

If necessary, bring in other people involved or a mature person to listen to both sides of the story. This will help to bring a resolution and healing to the situation.

If it helps to know what was said, and to whom it was said, then keep notes, so that the whole thing will be more even-tempered and productive.

Don’t harbour a grudge. Once you have dealt with it then let it go. Offer to help and support them, reassure them of your love and then move forwards.

All confrontation should have two goals:

A) to solve a problem
B) to salvage the person

And remember…

-very rarely will a bad situation get better all by itself.

-If you’re scared to do it…do it scared.

-If both parties have a good heart about the situation, then both parties will be glad about the confrontation.

Pastor Mark

A daily devotion for a better way of living.