Fresh Hope – 2nd February 2019


“Would ‘sorry’ have made any difference? Does it ever? It’s just a word. One word against a thousand actions.”– Sarah Ockler

There are three very important words that we teach our children from when they are able to talk.  They are: Please, Thank you and Sorry. However it seems the first two are easier to grasp that the latter, especially as we grow into adulthood.  As difficult as it may be to say it, when one sincerely says I’m sorry, they are offering an apology, an word that could save a lot of heartache, a word that could lead to so much freedom, a word that has the ability to mend an irreconcilable situation yet for some reason many adults would rather go through all the turmoil than utter this one word.

Saying “sorry” denotes that you have chosen your relationship over your ego. Yet so many of us can’t find the strength within us to admit our fault. It’s not that we do not want to apologise, is it perhaps that there are some obstacles that hold us back from making a genuine apology.

When you apologise, you admit that you may be wrong; to most people this is a threat to their ego and pride.  We should learn how to be objective and admit our mistakes, and not to allow our egocentrism to blind us

Some people see an apology as a confirmation of guilt and, as a result, of responsibility for the conflict. They mistakenly believe that if they apologise, then the other person wouldn’t realise his or her own wrong behaviour. This is false. Apologising in fact opens the lines of communication, and stimulates empathy and understanding on both sides.
Sometimes the apology is viewed as a means to draw attention to the mistake. This leads to a misguided implication that it’s better to ignore or deny offenses and hope that nobody will notice. But it doesn’t matter how little the mistake is; if there is hurt involved, you should apologise rather than let it fester.
Sometimes it’s simply that one person thinks that he or she is the one who deserves the apology first so they wait for the other person to apologise.

Making the first step will increase your self -respect, it never diminishes it   

Some people assume that apologising is a sign of weakness, but actually I believe it is a hallmark of strength. It is in fact an act of bravery, because it subjects people to the risk of humiliation.

On the other hand, forgiveness is a dominant theme throughout the Bible.  If we are the ones who are being offered an apology, may we have the same grace that  Jesus had for us when he forgave us of all our sins, for we all have sinned and fallen short (Romans 3:23), so who are we to  hold on to unforgiveness.

Finally may we not live our lives expecting an apology, some might wrong us unknowingly or that apology you have been waiting for may never come, that is not our responsibility or concern.  

 

Our responsibility is to live in love, forgiveness and fullness and experience the true Joy and Peace that was designed for us.

Christine Mudenha

A daily devotion for a better way of living.